It's all about intensity

bare with me tonight, you guys, today was kind of a long day, and i went all over, so it will be easier for me to type this up on my computer and then add pictures from my phone in a bit.  especially since by the time i am done i will probably need to get up in six hours. or four.  haha.

today started with me lazing in bed from around 8 to 11am.  (I don't know what's been going on with me, but i have been waking up naturally really well after a solid 8.  i think it helps that my room never gets dark, ever, so in the morning, the white curtains still let in most of the light.)  and around 11 one of my flatmates invited me along to a food-tour and since i hadn't eaten and i spent the weekend basically in my apartment nonstop (i popped to the store half a block away for snackfood for a movie day, but still) I decided "yeah, that sounds fun" especially since one of the stops for the day was at the ESN (Jagiellonian has a program for European abroad student called "Erasmus" so ESN is the office that Erasmus operates from.  Erasmus hhas functions and signing up for the card gets you discounts on events like) to sign up for the underground tour this thursday, and i heard that museum is great.

We walked the whole way and took the long route through the park because it was sunny and about 50 something with a breeze.  It was gorgeous, and while we were waiting for the tour group, we ducked into St Mary's church, despite it being closed to visitors, and took surreptitious photos because we are terrible people and it was too beautiful in there not to.

tilt your screen back for full color

The food tour never showed up, (or if they did, we couldn't find them,) so instead we went up Wawel hill to the castle and walked around the top and took pictures all over the view.  It was a whole lot of fun, with all of us goofing off and enjoying the day.  We also (after we got our fill of the view), went down to Kazimierz, and wandered around so that the rest of the group could get Zapiekanka, which is a little like a pizza on a half-loaf of french bread, and you can get different condiments and toppings on it.  (I mostly wandered and looked at antique military paraphernalia and old silver teasets.  There were a bunch of Polish military medals and an old nazi stamp, complete with SS eagle and a swastika.  it gave me the heebie jeebies.)

This is us heading up Wawel Hill.  Where the castle is.

Okay, now say "draw me like one of your french girls."

like shiatzu for your feet!

seriously, I told you it was beautiful out, today.

Anyway I didn't want one, honestly, because to me it looks unappetizing and like a heavy meal and i dislike walking around with a full stomach.  However, one guy couldn't finish his, and so he gave me his last third, and one girl couldn't finish hers, so i got a half to 2/3rds of one anyway, and they were better than i thought.

although considering they were castoffs, it kind of makes me like a tall pigeon.  lol.

SPEAKING.  OF. PIGEONS. (preemptive shoutout to my mom for editing this so that the grandparents/aunt/cousins/various other people we know can read this without being offended)


While we were waiting for Zapiekanka, I was leaning against a windowsill, when the brick felt weird, and when i pulled my hand off.

have you got where this is going?

I fucking put my hand in birdshit.  I PUT MY HAND IN BIRDSHIT.  Fucking gooey grey/brown and white nastypoo.

*laughs* goddamnit it, ugh. And so immediately leaned into the window and shouted "PRZEPRASZAM!!" (which is "excuse me") and the dude came running up and in english i asked for paper towel and showed him my hand and he tore me off some paper towels and even before he handed me towels, the lady ordering from the window next to the one my API classmates had ordered from hands me some, too. and so i wiped it off, and, mercifully, my classmate had some antibacterial that she gave me.  but OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOD.   SO UPSET.

i kicked one later.  (and i don't mean violently, i mean i shooed it away with my foot and got it as it flew off) BECAUSE REVEEEEEENGE.

I went home to rest a bit before the jazz event that API sponsored us to visit.  It's in this little club down in a basement proper, and i have to say the jazz music was beyond peerless.  It was freeform, but not chaotic and discordant, like it can be in the US.  all of this was cohesive and fun and melodic, and i wish i had a recording of it.  it was great.

Me to RD: seriously?  Gang bang?

RD to me: It's an unfortunate name. 

Me: no this is fantastic.  this is gonna be exciting. 

Until.
There was this one guy.   And he decided to sing.  And i mean he wasn't really breaking any rules, because in a jam session anyone who has something to contribute can apparently contribute.

but this guy had nothing to contribute.

I mean he was good-looking in a jimi hendrix-meets-bob marley kind of way.  Very boho and grunge or whatever.  But there is something that happens when an instrumental conglomerate suddenly is burdened with vocalizations.  it bogs it down unless it's scatting.  and the guy wasn't scatting.  he got up there and started singing the goddamned eurythmics' "sweet dreams."  which,  i mean.  isn't a jazz song.  And it shouldn't be.  even if the guy could sing, which he really couldn't.  even if the guy knew all the words.  which he didn't.  even if he was going to eventually sit down.  which he wasn't.

it was EXCRUTIATING.  The instruments wound down on him and he did NOT get the hint.  and then he gave up singing the song and started saying/tunelessly singing/screaming "It's all about intensity."  over and over.  And "I'm not going to waste your time."  But oh.  he did.  Over and over.

and over.

and over.

and at one point he stopped screaming the whole phrase and just repeated the word "intensity" over and over.

eventually he stopped saying he wasn't going to waste our time, and i wonder if it's because he realized it was a filthy filthy lie.

and after that set was done he said "rollin' down the river" a couple of times.  and the idiot probably thought that shit was originally by tina turner, because he was also stomping and pumping his arms.  I was so fucking irritated at this point that i couldn't make eye contact with the stage anymore.

It was really a shame, because the keyboardist (who i thought was very amusing because he was sitting on a piano to play said keyboard) had great chemistry with everyone.  especially the various drummers.

Honestly i was worried about coming across as american, but fuuuuck.  at least i'm not as bad as that guy.  He was about a thousand different shades of oblivious.  The music was good at ignoring him and people stopped smiling pretty damn quickly.  After his third invasion in a row, the band wound down really quickly and left the stage.  Which we did as well.  And as we were leaving, who else comes up to me (while standing on chairs), to ask me (like he was part of the goddamned band) but PhiladelphiaFreedom, if i liked it? I responded "I loved the music, the music was great." And i felt justified; i pegged him instantly as an american, and there he was, with an american accent.  So i asked where he was from, and he said "The states."

"No.  I know.  Where are you FROM, tho?"  turns out it was the city of brotherly tonedeafness.

And as we were walking home, i regaled this to my classmates, and one of them went "How is he here?" and i responded "well how are WE here?  i mean, i imagine he flew."

Anyway, so yeah.  That was today, and I'm sorry that i don't really have a TL;DR for you, but i'm still to relieved that i learned enough shame growing up to hopefully save me from that level of cluelessness.

I'm beginning to theorize that his screaming "It's all about INTENSITY" is probably about the name of the drug that he's on.