houston, we have a PragueLem

if you had told me a year ago that i would be going to Prague, i would've called you crazy.

Prague, to me, is like Paris, London, or Las Vegas.  It's hard to think of the city as anything other than just one huge tourist trap.  And to some degree, i'm right.  You won't be able to convince me that the money the city generates is from anything other than a fuckton of tourists spending too much money to be in a place that they don't know anything about except that it's been talked about by everyone else that's been there to spend money.  I will never be convinced that somewhere like london or paris will be where i should go.  Even Rome feels like that to me.  I'm only there to see the sights just like everyone else, and to me that's not what travelling is.

As much as i love seeing the sights, that's not what i'm here for.

I want to see the country.  I want to meet the people.  That's what's important to me.  In Ireland, for instance, going through cork and limerick was fun, but the best parts were the ruins that happened to be on the side of the road, or the guy with the crazy hair from the maxwell tape commercial who tried to suss out if i was christian enough to meet his standards.  The highlight was seeing the ring of Kerry and the Cliffs of Moher and laughing as a rode the wind down the stairs.

Krakow is old and i love getting a feel for its personality.  I love people-watching in all its aspects.  Even though I don't speak the same language, it's refreshing to see groups of friends laughing together, tourists stopping and gossiping around the old square, and exactly how active grandparents here are with their babies' babies.

Prague is beautiful.  I didn't quite experience it the way that i wanted to, but i was there at least long enough to smell the air and watch the people.  The tourists (of which i am one) have watered down the history.  I met only two people who didn't speak english, and that it mostly because i was lost and stopped random people on the street.  But even then they were very helpful and tried hard to help me back to the main square.  (tho even if they had, i probably still couldn't find the hotel we were staying at.  at one point, i took a taxi.  also the roooms in that hotel were set to 'broil'.)

The streets are old brick with edges so worn they look like domes, and the grout is at least an inch deep.  The sidewalks are tiny brick-ends and they are uneven and white or black, sometimes in designs.  the effect is beautiful, and old, but i was so stressed out constantly about trying not to sprain my ankle that i tensed my legs up to the point where they are still sore a day later.

The architecture is incomparable.

If i have to be in a tourist town, it needs to be one with history, so i can at least take pictures of the buildings.  and of that, Prague delivered in spades.  I don't know why
my ATM card wasn't work in prague, because i told my goddamned bank that i was going to europe, and i KNOW my card works in Krakow.  But nevertheless, i had to almost definitely overdraw an a different card to have any money at all.  (Yes, mom.  I got hat pins.)  Of course what that meant was that i was afraid to buy food because the currency is so weird there.

It's a lot like Thailand, where they'll charge you 85korun for a sammich and some oreos.  and i was only walking around with a few hundred, and i kept hoping i would come across some czech glass buttons.

Sarah has been to thailand, indonesian, spain, new zealand...  every time she travels, she gets me something.  And this was my chance to get her something cool back.  And i asked her what she wanted, and the second i mentioned all the places i was going, she zeroed in on Prague and asked me to get her Czech glass buttons.  And i was so excited, becaause i do the same types of fiber art she does, and so i know what a coup it would be to get those buttons, and i might be able to get them for myself.  they're famous and beautiful and i was incredibly stoked.

this is just one example.

And so i googled.  and googled.  and googled.  i got nothing.  I searched for any address in prague, and i got nothing.  I got one facebook that said "czech glass button store in prague"  but it was a facebook and had NO ADDRESS ATTACHED.    So then i walked into all the crystal and glass shops i could find (and there are a lot) and there were no buttons.  (And at one point i spotted a spider in a mug so i walked the mug over to the door and this lady started yelling coz she thought i was just walking out with the mug but then i flung the spider out and handed it back to her and she thanked me.) I went to tourist information and she found places in prague, but it wasn't in "old prague" and i said that was okay, but she gave me an address to try, and so i walked for another 45 minutes trying to find this place, and it was a fucking bead store.

BEADS.

AREN'T.

BUTTONS.

Like wanting a replacement parrot and being offered a snail.

BEREFT OF BUTTONS.

Also i got lost.  

In a zoo.

For about an hour.

because of course i did.  

And in my defense, i didn't even want to go to the fucking zoo.  if i wanted to see sad animals in captivity, i could do that at home.  There was a chance to see a palace and a tower and the palace was smaller than the one we saw on friday, but i would MUCH RATHER SEE A BUILDING I'LL NEVER HAVE A CHANCE TO SEE AGAIN THAN ANIMALS CONFINED IN PLACES THEY SHOULDN'T BE.  

The worst part is that we were on the way out when i got lost.  so everyone else got to eat lunch while i was trying to find the fucking exit and following vague-ass directions and not being able to read the signs because they were in Czech.  Finally, Piotrek gave up trying to text me directions "we're by the polar bears."  "i don't know where that is."  "it's up over the hill and then you go straight."  "i'm by the chair lifts again.  do you mean that hill?"  "Just go down that hill and head for the other side."  "...okay...  I'm by the exit but i don't see you.  this is where i was before."

He called me "Where are you?"  "I'm up the hill from the elephants."  "I'll be there in five minutes, just stay where you are."  "okay."

20 minutes later and it begins to thunder.  "I'm by the elephants and you are not here.  What is the animal closest to you?"  "I guess the deer are closest, but i'm up the hill from the elephants.  i honestly do see them.  I see the Hindu and Thai bits, i can just come to you."

10 minutes later we listen to the thunder and are walking back and I mutter "this is exactly like when you had to fetch me in zakopane." and he goes "at least it's not slippery." 

But then later it was raining and it GOT slippery.

bitches.

Piotrek, about to run the gauntlet.  (he is such a good sport)